Post cataract surgery, the nurse smiled and instructed, Take it easy. Slightly groggy and admittedly still freaked about the thought of some one actually cutting into my eyeball, I somehow muttered, Thank you, as a blue sheet of post-op instructions was proferred. Little did I know that the paper was my Do Not Do list. I hate that list!
The problem? One week later and I feel 100% fantastic. Dr. Stein and The Bochner Eye Institute, to my mind, are miracle workers. Depth perception, bright colours and crisp vision have returned. I am not and never was, during the whole process, in any slight or debilitating pain. The positive results are staggering. I want my old life back, but there is that blessed Do Not Do list ruling my actions for four interminable weeks and I have only lived through one. I hate that list! Insert major swear word here. **!!**??!!**
Do not bend over. (...and I put my boots on how?)
Do not lift more than twenty-five pounds. (... you should see our home after a week of no vacuuming)
Do not swim. (...so nix my daily activity. Wonder when my muscles will begin to atrophy?)
Do not go outside in the sun without solar protectors. (.....ain't they just so "perdy"? I have morphed into a giant praying mantis!)
Do not! Do not! Do not! The list is endless, but I want my life back NOW. I hate that list.
Ah, well! When they take me away to the "funny farm", I will clearly be able to see my straight jacket.