Breathe! Relax! Meditate! Legs crossed, arms at my side, palms open to the ceiling, I am unable to relax. In fact, I can barely breathe. At sixty-seven years of age, new to this form of exercise and so-called relaxation, I know I have blown my right knee attempting the floor bow pose. I shouldn't have used that strap to yank my right leg into position. Ya' think? Who says you gain wisdom with age?
Aum! Aum! Meditate. Clear my mind.......and what was I thinking twisting myself into a pretzel? Keeping up with the lithe nimble thirty year olds in class? I must be dilusional.
Ding! Ding! Aum! Aum! Relax! Are you kidding me? I heard my knee snap.
Ding! Ding! Aum! Aum! Oh, shut up. Here I am sitting cross-legged, like Chief Sitting Bull, with searing pain radiating up my right leg. Aum! Aum! I may never untangle myself again. Ding! Oh, that reminds me...please call 911. I know I am injured for life.
Aum! Aum! Egad! Now they have all joined in the chanting. Are you kidding me? Perhaps I will interject with a shrill blood-curdling scream. Definitely not relaxing for everyone else, but it sure as hell would make me feel better.
Aum! Aum! Ding! Ding! And the session has blessedly ended. "Achy breaky" body untangled, this world class athlete (?) hobbles to the locker room.
PostScript. Two torn menisci in my right knee and arthroscopic surgery scheduled for March 5 this year. So it has been back to daily swimming at Uxpool. Safer, don't you think?