'ATTACK AD' ANGST

My Mother's conversation rule was always, Never discuss politics or religion; Keep the peace, her entertaining mantra. If you are looking down, Mom, I am so sorry but a cancerous growing practice in Canadian politics is getting under my skin.......bigtime! I can no longer keep my big, opinionated mouth shut. To my Conservative Party-supporting friends, in an effort to maintain our friendships, I am warning that you may not wish to read any further.

Is anyone sick to death of the Just Not Ready ad running again and again and again and.......? Where is that 'mute' button? What happened to the fair play and decency once characteristic of Canadian political ads? I despair that the malicious muckraking ads of the U.S. have over past elections and now in this one, taken permanent root. Our politicians speak from one side of their mouth of taking the high road, comparing policies and track records, and then immediately resort to smear campaigns, with ads based on out-of-context words and fear mongering. 

Fully aware that their Just Not Ready crusade is based upon misleading statements and innuendo, the Conservatives have cynically opted to muddy an opponent's reputation. Since when, in a decent society, does the end justify any means?

I guess pension splitting for seniors is next. The Liberal platform does not, and never has, included cancelling income splitting for seniors. Pure unsubstantiated scare tactics!

Well, he wants to send winter jackets to Syria. Yes, Trudeau has supported the already existing Canadian Government assistance program involving support to help refugees and displaced citizens survive the winter.

Didn't he say budgets balance themselves? are words taken out of context from a Trudeau speech made in Quebec in which Trudeau discussed accepted economic tenets. Oh, and do you get the impression from this that the Conservatives have balanced our budget? You need to investigate further if you believe that smoke and mirrors act. 

Of late, the revised Just Not Ready ad has alluded to concerns that to allow anyone but the almighty Conservatives to handle our economy would lead to a Greek-like debt crisis. At this point, I must restrain myself from throwing a brick at our TV screen. The acme of cynicism has now been reached. Nothing, absolutely nothing, in our Canadian economic landscape can be compared to Greece's long history of obscenely generous pensions and national income tax evading psyche and the Conservative party knows it.

Why am I so upset? I do not presume to tell you who to vote for. Should you not wish to vote for a particular political party or its leader, that is your sacred democratic right! But please ensure that your decision is based upon the comparison of policies or track records or the handling of issues important to you. Do not allow your vote to be based upon public perceptions shaped by misleading statements or unsubstantiated and disparaging innuendo. What of the naive voter who reads little, but allows such attack ads to form their opinions? When did we Canadians give a free pass to our politicians, to mudsling, unjustly harming the reputation of opponents who feel called upon to honourably serve their country by running for office?

I dream of an election in which our politicians only advertise and promote their policies, track records and dreams for our incredible country, Canada. Let me decide based upon facts. Refrain from attack ads and you will have my vote!

 

DEAR 'RACCO THE RACCOON',

You may be an adorable bandit-masked little rascal to some, but am I done, done, done! Amusing no longer describes you. Do you hear me? In case you have failed to notice, WE, Jim and Daphne Lockett, own this property, not YOU, Racco the Raccoon. I have even verified our deed! Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah! Time to move on, buddy. You are trespassing, stealing, and have overstayed your tentative welcome. Now what will it take to make you vamoose?

I am done, done, done with waking at two in the morning to a reverberating, thumping racket on our upper deck as you attempt to dislodge bird feeders, planters, and seed bins. My husband may be able to sleep through a bomb blast, but that is not a talent to which I lay claim. I need my sleep! Capisce?

And are you dense? Did you not get the message when the hinges on the feeders were upgraded? No, I think not. It just takes longer to dislodge, thus more thumping, eh. buddy? Simply a minor, enjoyable challenge for you, hmmmm? When are you going to pay up for all of the broken feeders and devoured seed?

I am done, done, done with my railing baskets, once filled with vibrant oranges and yellows, being used as a place of rest from your nighttime gymnastics and more recently, being used as your private toilet. Yuck!  I promise you that finding your raccoon s**t, while watering in the early, morning does not make my day. Hey, buddy, would it have killed you to show some sympathy for those poor, now dying, nasturtiums? Really? You'd die too if you were s**t on every night! 

I'm done, done, done with picking up icky, smelly, spilled garbage after you overturn the recycling bin. Raccoon resistant green bins. Hilarious concept, eh buddy? If you truly are intelligent, possessing small motor skills beyond compare, would it be too much to ask that you at least use your talents to clean up after feasting on leftovers?

I am done, done, done, so war it is Racco. If I were you, I would wave goodbye now or I'll visit you at two tonight. That's a date! Let's see how you like being disturbed during your nighttime forays. And don't think for a second that you can hide behind that stupid black mask. If I fail, Racco, I may be forced to hire the biggest, meanest guard dog you have ever met. 

I am done, done, done! Take my advice, Racco, and say, Bye, bye.

CREATE YOUR OWN BACKYARD CARNIVAL

Step right up! Come one, come all. See the world's greatest backyard carnival. In the big top there......

Whoa, Nelly! No need for that big top tent. No need for the sleazy barker. No need to hire costly acts. No need for 'out-of-sight' liability insurance or workman's comp fees. Quite simply, your only requirements are a small garden, a bird feeder and a generous bag of seed. Grab some microwave popcorn, sit back and be delightfully entertained.

Be amazed by the precarious contortions and astounding dexterity of your highwire trapeze artists as they defy gravity in death defying stunts.

Just wait until you experience the clowns. Resultant laughter and infectious hilarity will have you holding your sides and begging for more.

Prepare to be magnetized by the demonic speed with which your magician can make a bouquet of flowers evaporate into thin air. How did he do that?

Whatever you do, don't fail to attend the sideshow in which Cheeky the Chip makes his head mysteriously grow to double its size. Such incredible talent!

Before departing, enjoy the sight of young offspring training for upcoming carnival performances. Take comfort in the knowledge that your carnival will continue as long as there are future generation performers and FOOD!

Yup! Take my word for it. If I can do this, so can you. Go ahead! Enjoy the colour, 

awe and amusement of your own backyard carnival. Have fun and, oh, don't forget the popcorn!!

THE "BEST"......WHO SAYS???

The BEST Beaches in the World has just popped up on my Facebook Trending items. Grrrr! A mournful groan escapes as I peruse another such BEST list. Why do I bother? All beaches pictured are stunning, tranquil, turquoise vistas, but not a single beach with crashing surf and palm trees bowing to the force of onshore trade winds is shown. Where are those beaches, the ones I so love? Why aren't they mentioned?

Who says? I grumble as I complete the list.

The proverbial answer, I can only assume, is, They! 

Who is 'they'? I want to demand.

BEST Sunsets, BEST of Paris, BEST European Sites, BEST, BEST BEST.......enough!

Am I growing increasingly crotchety with age? Please don't answer that. I do know that as I move through life, I have learned to intensely dislike the word BEST. It brings to mind the, Well, mine is best, words of a simpering little child. Actually, get rid of all est superlatives and I would be relieved.

Spanish olive oil is the BEST, claims a friend who has recently returned from guess where.......Spain! How did you guess? I giggle and finally respond with, Well the Greeks and Italians may take issue with that claim. I personally prefer the delicious peppery flavour of a freshly made Italian olive oil. Does that make it the BEST? No! Just my favourite.

How many times have we heard that French wine is the BEST? Ad nauseum - right? Tell that to an Italian vintner and he will most likely be contacting Guido to fit you with cement boots. Last year while tasting wines at the renowned Chateauneuf-du-Pape, I wanted to jump up and hug the vintner when he stated that there is no BEST wine, only the wine, no matter what it may be or where it may be from, that your individual palette prefers. Hallelujah! And that from a French winemaker. Take that before you pen another BEST List, Mr. So-Called, Self-Professed Wine Expert.

BEST Golf Course. Would that be extremely difficult or stunningly beautiful? Each of us has their own personal preferences. BEST Hotel. Would that be a luxury Ralais or atmospheric little country inn? Who is the arbiter of BEST? And pul-ease don't answer, They or the experts!

I have a dear friend, Lynn, who is truly well travelled. Is there a continent she has not explored? I doubt it. Never, from Lynn, have I even once heard the word, BEST. She instead describes most eloquently sights, smells, and emotions. Where to next? Lynn would never assume to instruct us as to what is BEST.

So dear They, by all means describe what you loved and preferred and explain to us why, but please don't tell me what is the BEST. That, Mr. Expert, is up to me.

FLICKERING CANDLES AND TWINKLING STARS

Broken only by the occasional haunting chorus of coyote howls, a serene hush has settled over the desert. Mighty saguaros, like giant sentinels, stand dark in silhouette against a diamond-studded nighttime curtain of twinkling stars. Washing over us, balmy night breezes carrying residual warmth from the day caress our faces and whisper desert secrets. On the horizon, a familiar rocky ledge first takes on a dusty blurred texture, then ultimately diminishes to mere shadow.

Shimmering candles illuminate our table. The sole source of light in the lanai, they increase the magic of this Sonoran night. Look at how a single candle can both defy and define darkness.* At first it is as if Jim and I are alone in the universe until one by one lights flit on in distant houses, golden lamplight spilling from their windows onto the desert floor.

Candles flicker; stars twinkle silently. Sometimes the beauty of a moment can be heart-stoppingly intense. I try to carefully store the memory of this magic moment away.

* Anne Frank

AND THE DESERT SPEAKS TO ME

Dry, arid, harsh are descriptions most would associate with the word desert. Hot air and dusty conditions prevail at certain times of the year for sure, but for me these words when used to describe the Sonoran Desert simply don't cut it. Awe inspiring, beautiful, life lessons are the what come to my mind. 

The mighty saguaro cactus, the tallest and largest in Arizona, takes a staggering 15 years to grow a mere foot and 50 to 75 years to grow its first arm. By the time these massive giants tower over the desert trees, they are 100 to 200 years old and have survived droughts, sudden torrential rains, brutal high winds and even snow. Hmmmm? I think. Strength and dignity with age - I somehow find that thought comforting.

Brittle bush, the little flower that dramatically paints the rocky hillsides and flats with its dazzling yellow colour, is just one small Sonoran Desert example of adaptation and survival. Two sets of leaves can grow depending on seasonal conditions. "When the climate is cooler and has more moisture, pale green leaves appear. These leaves are designed to absorb a lot of sunlight. During the intense summer heat, another set of leaves grow. These leaves have a layer of white hairs that act as a sun block to protect the leaves from getting burned".* How many of us, especially as we get older, remain rigid in our beliefs and unable to embrace change? Adapt, is the overwhelming desert message I hear. Adapt. I need to continually remind myself of that persistent little brittle bush.

To hike through the desert in springtime is to enjoy a desert floor decorated in yellow, reds, purples and whites. Adapting to and surviving a harsh climate in no way prevents the desert from displaying its true beauty. I hear you desert. No matter how difficult times and circumstances may be, I need to respond with kindness and understanding, with beauty.

Crazy, you say. The musing of a "retired" mind perhaps, but I find life lessons here. Most of all I find peace. Somehow this Sonoran Desert, this little speck on our vast planet has found its way into my heart. And I love that.

* Desert in Bloom, Smith-Southwestern Inc.

A "STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES" TRIP

OMG, we're actually in ******! So much to see; so much to do, are words that begin most of our travels and then the insane scurry to see, visit and experience as much as humanly possible commences. Another one of those OMG-trips is in store for Jim and I later this summer, so we changed tack this time in Arizona and decided almost simultaneously to stop and smell the local roses for once.

Are we finished travelling the length and breadth of The Grand Canyon State? No way! On every visit our Arizona love affair grows exponentially. Over the years, Jim and I have explored from Tombstone and Bisbee near the Mexican border, through the Tucson area, the dramatic Apache Trail and kooky Tortilla Flat, up the Mingus Highway (a heart stopping127 turns in 12 miles) to quirky Jerome and down into breathtaking Sedona (at least 5 times), 

twisted our way up Oak Creek Canyon through the majestic aspen stands near Flagstaff and on to the awe inspiring Grand Canyon. Hiking the hair raising 7.4 mile Rim Trail east from Canyon City to Hermit's Rest, for me, was the experience of a lifetime.

All those miles travelled and we have barely scratched the surface of what Arizona has to offer. Our want to see check list grows each year - the slot canyons, a Colorado River trip, and Monument Valley to name a few. But that is, God willing, for upcoming years. This was our year to smell the local roses.

Jim and I promised ourselves to remain active and that we have thus far accomplished. Lengthy early morning hikes in the desert and walks in beautiful Terravita and charming Old Scottsdale have allowed us to truly enjoy not just the desert vistas but the diverse floral and animal life that exist within. I have been able to indulge myself with my camera. The Sonoran Desert is truly at its most beautiful in April and we have had the time to savour every stunning moment. 

Golf games on exquisite local golf courses, time spent with good friends, and much too much southwestern food and drink. I'll pay for that later. Grrrrr!

Fascinating museums relating the west's history, glorious Indian art galleries, shows and markets, even the famous (or should I say infamous) Cave Creek Town Dump...we've been busy....and locally!

With the exception of dinner in three restaurants without patio dining, every dinner and evening has been spent outside, enjoying blazing Arizona sunsets followed by starry desert skies, cooling desert breezes and NO BUGS. ( Did you hear that Ontario?) To say that we live outside is an understatement.

As I proofread my musings, I realize that my desire to relate how rewarding it is to stop and smell the roses has morphed into a love letter to Arizona. So be it!